How to beat the Villa

Steve Bruce could do worse than read this detailed scouting report as his team embark on the 2 mile trip into the suburbs to take on O’Leary’s honest bunch of lads probably for the last time.

Thomas Sorenson: Actually a top class keeper but with a tradition of throwing them in against Blues. He had a steady game at St Andrews earlier in the season and without a rick from the Danes Blues lost the first league game against the old enema in 20 years.

Aaron Hughes: Probably the dreary one’s best signing. He can actually defend but ironically. If Dunny plays wide left Hughes will stick tight.

Gary Cahill: Replaces the legendary Olaf Melberg who gets so mixed in the head that he is a liability against Blues. Cahill did well in last week’s minor skirmish against the Baggies but will find a bit more to do against Heskey.

Liam Ridgwell: In spite of being just cover for Villa’s massive injury list the youngster is virtually ever present. Had a few nightmares around Christmas time and is one to be pressured.
Wilfrid Bouma: Looked Ok at St Andrews but compared to Jjloyd who wouldn’t. Has started to look vulnerable lately and Pennant should help him lose a pound or two in the white-hot atmosphere.

Gareth Barry: Top class defender. Fortunately D O’L hasn’t realised this yet. Will plough his usual furrow in midfield. Back him for most fouls and a least one yellow card.

James Milner: If fully fit would be Villa’s best player. Sadler will be tested but Brucie may play Upson out their against him.
Gavin McCann; One cap wonder and midfield enforcer. An English man with a Scottish name.
Steven Davis; Damien Johnson’s midfield partner in the Northern Ireland team. Definitely their best player but for the ‘injury’ crisis last year would never have got in the side. That’s just the kind of luck they are famous for.

Milan Baros: Top class player who the Villa fans dislike because he is lazy and appears not to care. Needs to be “discouraged” early and will be subbed on the hour.

Kevin Phillips: can still score a goal. Blues would be happy if he spent the entire afternoon on the bench.
Juan Pablo Angel: No Darren Purse to frighten the Columbian to death. Tebily can do it with a heavy tackle or shouting boo!!

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