The Wit of Witton Episode 1

Ivor Holte-Ende is a happy man because his favourite football team the VII-LA have had one of their most remarkable seasons. They have managed to beat their illustrious neighbours, Birmingham City twice for the first time in 25 years. Birmingham City. nicknamed the Blues because they play in Blue shirts, had on average 8 players out injured throughout the season and slipped into the Championship or Second Division to give it its proper title.

Although their ancient ground , VII-la Park, not to be mistaken for the South African Rugby ground Ellis Park, will not be filled next year, Ivor is happy to suffer the financial hardship to see the Blues sink from the Premiership.

Ivor has even managed to make some jokes about the Blues. For example did you know that the recent robbery of Cup Final tickets was carried out by Blues fans desperate to see what a Cup Final ticket looked like? This is in spite of the fact that there are have been over 140,000 Cup final tickets printed for the Millennium Stadium with Birmingham City on, compared to precisely NIL with VII-LA on them.

So where’s the joke Ivor? Never mind. Ivor in his pretend Claret and Blue world where loss really means profit and ‘Doug out’ is the place where the subs sit, is a happy man. He’s looking forward to a local Derby with Sheffield United, 5-15 kick offs in Portsmouth and 15,000 empty seats at home Games.

Don’t forget to click on to the next mind numbing episode of the Wit of Witton.

Any resemblance to persons alive or dead is purely coincidental. (Sorry to use such big words)

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