Vital Football

Latest Birmingham City News

The Wit of Witton Episode 2

The Wit of Witton Episode 2



Ivor Holte-Ende has a girlfriend called Eli Sout and share a house in Worcester. They have a child, which as they aren’t married technically is a bastard. This is why fans of VII-La tend not to bother with marriage. Even if Ivor and Eli were married the status of their children would remain the same.

Ivor and Eli decided to name their child after the Team of 1982 who if you remember beat a couple of Icelandic teams, rioted in Belgium and then fluked a win against Bayern Munich to win the European equivalent of the Leyland Daf. . (UEFA have changed the criteria for entry to Europe now so that no team of deadbeats can win it again.) Their offspring was called Spink , Thingamy, and Nine other Jammy Bastards.

They chose this name because they forget that Spink was not actually in the starting eleven and no-one can remember the right back and the rest speaks for itself.

So Ivor, Elli and Jammy (they pronounce it Jay-me) went off to the Hall of Memory to watch the mighty VII-La. It was to celebrate Eli’s birthday so they got seats in Doug Ellis Other Stand. Not only did her hero’s manage a draw but all the fans stood up and held up cards with her name on. She was thrilled and Ivor knew they were the best fans ever!

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:
Date:Tuesday May 16 2006
Time: 7:28PM

Comments

0
This was inspired by the cruel stick that I have been given by vile fans. I thought that relegation was hard enough but Ivor and Elli are making my life unbearable . I just had to share the burden.
BigAl
16/05/2006 19:53:00
0
Yup, articles like this don't make you sound bitter and/or sad at all.
Affers
16/05/2006 20:01:00
0
A good attempt at irony, although humour sometimes help get the point across. ;)
FEn_100
20/05/2006 15:13:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Birmingham City Articles

Rowett to Develop the Development

Gary Rowett will look to promote players from Blues' development squad as the emergency loan window system is scrapped.

The Hosts - Cardiff City

Cardiff fans still aren't fully on board with Russell Slade. Article by Rob Wildey.

The C.A.R.D.I.F.F of Birmingham City

Rob Wildey plays the letters game with Cardiff City.

Opinion: Predicted line up Vs. Cardiff City

Tom Heslop has his say on who he thinks will be in the final starting XI of the 2015/2016 season as Blues face Cardiff City

Archived Vital Birmingham Articles

Vital Birmingham articles from

Site Journalists

Tom Heslop
Editor email
Profile
Christopher Handy
no email
Profile
Saskia Bowes
no email
Profile
Rob Wildey
no email
Profile
Luke Turner
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Where do we need to strengthen in the emergency loan window?
Suggested By: Tom Heslop
In goal4%
In defence22%
In midfield7%
In attack67%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Burnley 45 25 15 5 90 34
2 Middlesbrough 45 26 10 9 88 32
3 Brighton 45 24 16 5 88 30
4 Hull City 45 23 11 11 80 30
5 Derby County 45 21 15 9 78 24
6 Sheff Wed 45 19 17 9 74 22
7 Cardiff 45 17 16 12 67 5
8 Ipswich 45 17 15 13 66 1
9 Birmingham 45 16 14 15 62 4
10 Brentford 45 18 8 19 62 1
11 Preston 45 15 16 14 61 0
12 Leeds Utd 45 14 16 15 58 -8
13 Q.P.R. 45 13 18 14 57 -1
14 Wolves 45 13 16 16 55 -6
15 Blackburn 45 12 16 17 52 -2
16 Reading 45 13 13 19 52 -5
17 Forest 45 12 16 17 52 -5
18 Bristol City 45 13 13 19 52 -16
19 Huddersfield 45 13 12 20 51 -7
20 Rotherham 45 13 10 22 49 -14
21 Fulham 45 11 15 19 48 -14
R Charlton 45 9 13 23 40 -37
R MK Dons 45 9 12 24 39 -29
R Bolton 45 5 15 25 30 -39
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Birmingham City Results (view all)

Birmingham City Fixtures (view all)

May 7 2016 12:30PM : Cardiff City (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.David Village2